Avengers of Middle Earth
by Lily Lindsey-Aubrey
Summary: What if it were the Avengers who went to destroy the One Ring? Rated K plus for maybe some disturbing scenes. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers or the Lord of the Rings. This was written for entertainment purposes only.**

* * *

'One of you,' said Nick Fury slowly, 'must do this.'

The Avengers were sitting in a circle, listening to the council of Director Fury. They had just been briefed about the necessity of destroying a certain ring.

'It had better not be Hawkeye,' said Thor. 'He doesn't even have any superpowers.'

'Excuse me,' said Clint coldly, 'no superpowers means I'm better than any of you since I made it here without them. Oh, except for Natasha,' he added hastily.

'It's gonna be me,' said Stark, leaning back and putting his hands behind his head. 'Guys, seriously, I'm the obvious choice.'

'Which is why you shouldn't be the one,' said Steve. 'That's what they'll be expecting.'

A long, intense argument began. No one wanted to go (except Stark, and Fury couldn't trust him with such an important mission), and no one wanted any one else to go. Nick Fury sighed. This was going nowhere. Suddenly he had a bright idea.

'You are all going,' he said. Silence reigned for five seconds.

'What?' said Natasha. 'Are you serious?'

'I am,' said Fury. 'I need that ring destroyed. I need it done fast.' He looked around the room at each of the team. 'Steve Rogers will take it.' There was a long silence. Steve shifted uncomfortably, hoping someone would object. No one did.

Coulson sighed in relief. He had been afraid for a moment that Director Fury would send him.

'Don't look so happy, Agent,' said Fury. 'You and Hill are going, too.'

'Director, do you really think this is a priority right now?' said Hill, trying to get out of going.

'Yes. Oh, and one more thing,' said Fury, turning to leave. 'You'll also be taking Loki. I need you to look after him and make sure he doesn't get into any trouble.'

The Avengers were silent, aghast. This was not how any of them wanted it to be. But they had no choice. Slowly they went to pack their things, readying for the long, dangerous journey to Mordor.

* * *

'Mordor, Stark,' said Steve, 'is it right or left?' They were officially starting off, and Steve was piloting the jet.

'Left,' said Stark, who was sitting comfortably in the back, eating PopTarts.

'My friend, give those to me,' said Thor, reaching for the box.

'Ahh!' said Tony, jumping in surprise. 'No you don't!'

'So where are we going, exactly?' asked Loki. He was sitting apart from everyone else because no one wanted to be near him.

'I don't think you should know,' said Clint.

'Mr. Stark, Thor is about to take your PopTarts,' stated Agent Hill.

'Will you stop that?' said Iron man, jumping away.

'Guys, stop shaking the plane,' Rogers called from the front. A rumble of lightning shook the jet. Loki looked disturbed.

'What's the matter?' asked Natasha. 'Scared of a little lightning?'

'I'm not overly fond of what follows,' said Loki. There was a jolt.

'We're falling!' yelled Steve. 'Stark, get out there and hold us up!'

'I'm busy,' said Stark.

'We're dropping from the sky, for Pete's sake!' exclaimed Natasha.

'Whatever,' said Tony, finishing his Poptart while holding the box out of Thor's reach.

There was a crash. And silence.

Slowly the Avengers picked themselves up from among the rubble. Stark and Thor both gazed sadly at the smashed box of Poptarts.

'Now what?' said Dr. Banner. He looked a little green.

* * *

The Avengers were out in the middle of nowhere. The jet was completely smashed, and it was beginning to snow. Besides that, some of the company were having problems. Banner was looking ready to Hulk out any minute; Steve was already feeling the effects of possessing the One Ring; and Thor was hungry.

'What do we do?' asked Coulson. Unfortunately, Fury wasn't there to answer the question.

'OK, everyone,' said Natasha, taking charge, 'we're going to walk towards that mountain.'

'What is that mountain exactly?' asked Bruce.

'That is Mount Caradhras. And we're going to do this quickly. Now!'

'I'll just fly,' said Stark, pulling a suitcase out from the wreckage. It was labelled 'STARK'S'.

'No you won't,' said Natasha. 'You'll get way ahead. You're supposed to be helping Cap destroy the Ring, remember?'

The Avengers started walking, with varying levels of moodiness. The snow fell more thickly, and blanketed the surrounding slopes. Soon they were trudging in snow up to their knees, then to their wastes. A strange noise seemed to echo through the air; a sort of singing, if it could be called that. Someone was wailing, 'Let it go! Let it gooooo!'

'There is a fell voice on the air!' cried Agent Barton.

'Clint!' yelled Natasha.

'I need to get that as my ringtone,' said Loki to himself.

'Loki!' yelled Steve, 'if this is some sort of trick. . .'

'Who, me?' asked Loki, looking as innocent as a kitten. 'I would never. . .'

'It's Red Skull!' yelled Stark. 'He's trying to bring down the mountain!'

'Natasha!' roared Thor, 'we must turn back!' He looked at Coulson and Hill, who were slumped over and were barely going a foot per minute. 'This will be the death of the agents!'

'Let's take the Gap of Rohan!' said Hawkeye, shooting an arrow into the darkness at random.

'The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Hydra!' said Dr. Banner.

'We should go through the Mines of Moria,' said Loki with a sneaky smile.

'Let the Ring-bearer decide,' said Natasha, finally, as agent Hill collapsed in a heap.

'. . .'

'That's you, Cap,' said Stark, who hated walking, and was currently just hovering in the air.

'Oh, um,' said Steve, trying to focus. Bearing magic rings didn't agree with him. 'Let's go the most dangerous route. Through Moria.'

'Good idea,' said Loki. The Avengers and company turned back towards the foot of the mountain. 'Hahahm!'

* * *

There's the beginning of the quest to destroy the Ring. Please review! Reviews make my day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers or Middle Earth. This was written purely for entertainment. Duh. It's fan fiction. I don't know why I continually insult your intelligence by disclaiming before each chapter. **

* * *

Down towards the gate to Moria went the six Avengers, two agents, and one villain.

'I'm hungry,' said Thor suddenly.

'We just had breakfast!' said Agent Hill, surprised.

'What about second breakfast?' asked Thor.

'I don't think Midgardians know about second breakfast,' said Loki in a low voice to his brother.

'What did we bring to eat?' asked Stark, who, at the mention of breakfast, felt suddenly hungry.

'Schawarma,' said Hawkeye, holding up a piece. 'One small bite will fill the stomach of a grown man.' He ate some.

'Clint!' yelled Natasha. 'We are NOT eating right now!'

'Schawarma!' said Bruce.

'I'm hungry!' yelled Thor.

There was a mad scramble.

* * *

'The mines!' said Coulson. They had come at last to the doorway into Moria.

'"Speak, friend, and enter,"' Thor read slowly. 'What strange Midgardian meaning has this?'

'Out of the way,' said Stark. He blew a blast at the doors. They stood firm.

'What trickery is this?' asked Steve.

'It's magic,' said Loki. 'You have to know the special word.'

'Well then,' said Iron man, grabbing him by the neck, 'spit it out.'

'I don't know it,' said Loki. Thor's hammer flew to his fist.

'Listen well, bwotha,' he said threateningly, but he was cut off.

'Don't throw rocks!' yelled Natasha at Clint and Coulson, who were busily skipping stones across the lake. 'Didn't your dad ever teach you two not to throw things? You might hit someone!'

'We need a plan of action,' said Steve. 'How are we going to get in here?'

'Loki!' said Thor. 'I say the magic word!'

Loki looked at him witheringly. 'Abracadabra, voodoo-hoodoo-hindoo, heeby-jeeby.' Thor glared. 'Well, what do you want me to say?' demanded Loki. 'How am I supposed to know the magic word?'

'You know magic,' said Thor. 'You should be able to figure it out.'

'You're the god of thunder! You should know. What do you think it is?' he asked sarcastically. 'Open sesame?'

'I do not understand,' said Thor, but his words were drowned out by the creak of the doors as they opened. Everyone started up in surprise.

'Ha,' said Loki, walking in, 'I'm a genius.'

'Excuse me, but I'm. . .' began Stark.

'Wow,' said Steve. 'This place is immense!' The Avengers and co. entered the mines. Suddenly they noticed all around them skeletons.

'This is not a mine,' said Dr. Banner suddenly, 'it's a- it's a tomb.'

'Aah!' yelled Tony. Steve pulled a weapon from a skeleton's weak grasp and examined it.

'Hydra Nazis!' he yelled.

'To the gap of Rohan,' said Natasha, pursing her lips. 'I knew we shouldn't have come this way.'

Suddenly a big creature rose out of the water and grabbed her.

'Hawkeye!' she yelled. Clint fitted an arrow to his bow and shot the creature's eye. Captain America threw his mighty shield and hit him on the nose. Thor's mighty hammer hit him in the jaw. He dropped Agent Romanoff.

'Run!' she yelled, and they did so. The creature slunk back underwater. They turned to look back.

'Well, that was easy,' said Bruce.

'Okay, I guess we can't take the gap of Rohan,' said Loki. 'We can't get past that thing again, can we? Let's go.'

Stark's suit lit up the cave. The light reflected off Captain America's spangly suit and cast strange blue and red patterns across the ceiling.

'We must move on,' said Clint, 'we cannot linger.'

* * *

They went on for a great while, deeper and deeper into the mines of Moria.

'I'm hungry,' said Thor.

They entered a dark room with a well in it. Suddenly, behind them they heard the noise of marching feet.

'Hail Hydra! Hail Hydra!' yelled unknown voices.

'Never mind,' said Loki to himself, 'that would make a cooler ringtone.'

'Hydra Nazis!' yelled Steve again, who was obsessed with them.

Suddenly into the room busted a large ugly creature.

'They have a cave troll,' said Thor, astounded. 'I thought those were only in Asgard!'

Then Banner Hulked out.

'Raoh!' He roared a primal roar. 'Puny cave troll! Puny cave troll! Puny cave troll!' He banged the poor thing upon the floor until it expired.

'That was easy, too,' said Coulson.

* * *

The group confidently made their way towards the end of the mines. Soon they came to the bridge of Khasad-Dum, Middle Earth-renowned for its glorious height and epic beauty. Suddenly, up behind them came a tall person. He had a red skull and wore a black trench coat.

'Schmidt!' gasped the Cap.

'Out of the way,' said Thor, 'I'll take care of this.'

'Thor,' said the Hydra Nazi, 'how exciting! I'm a big fan of your hammer.'

'You shall not pass!' said Thor impressively. 'Go back to the shadows! Go ahead without me, Agent Romanoff,' he added.

'Haha, you think you can defeat me so easily?' The red-skulled villain shot at Thor with a massive weapon.

'You missed,' said the mighty god of thunder. Jon Schmidt ran at him. There was an epic struggle on the brink of the bridge, until, with a scream of 'Nooooo!' Red Skull fell into the flames below. Thor dusted his hands off.

'That's that,' he said.

Suddenly he went hurtling off the bridge, too. 'My magnet!' cackled Red Skull. 'I shall pull you down with me!' They both disappeared.

'Thoooorrrrr!' yelled Steve, finally realizing how much he needed his friend.

Banner, who had not yet de-hulked, roared primally again.

'Let's go,' said Natasha finally. 'We're done here.'

The Avengers slowly made it back out into the open. Thor was sniffling, and Agent Hill didn't look quite as tough as usual.

'Can I have his share of lunch?' asked Loki.

* * *

**So, there's the second part. Please Review! Make my day. Tell me what you like and what you don't like. **

**And more should be coming soon. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my own creative genius inside my own creative head. If something is cool, it's not mine. If something is utterly insane, it is. Simple.**

**Two apologies for last time: I changed the last chapter just a little bit. Instead of Iron man fighting Red Skull on the bridge of Khazad Dum, it is now Thor. So now Thor is in the abyss, not Iron man; we must suffer the loss of him instead. What will we do without Thor's mighty hammer? But I accidentally left in the part where Thor sniffles… so he's sniffling away as a ghost, I guess. Second, I said there should be an update soon. ! How long has it been? Since May? O.o I am so messed up. Sorry guys. I lacked inspiration for this for a while.**

* * *

'What do we do now?' asked Agent Hill. 'Director Fury didn't bargain on losing Thor in the first day of our mission.'

'No he didn't,' said Clint, 'but it can't be helped. We have to keep going.'

'Through Lothlorien,' said Steve dryly. The name cast a shadow of gloom on the company.

'They say there is a sorceress in that wood,' said Loki. He had been silent and angsty ever since his brother had fallen to his horrible death in Moria. That hadn't exactly been his plan. What he'd really wanted to happen was for Steve to fall in and then he'd get the Ring through some interesting magical maneuvers. He'd have to try again some other time. 'She bosses everyone around that goes there,' he continued. Steve shivered. Loki began to enjoy himself. 'Some go in and never come out, killed by her utter bossy-ness.'

'Shut up, reindeer games,' said Stark, who may have been getting nervous. They entered the forest.

Suddenly, down from the trees above jumped seven security guards. They surrounded the group, pointing an odd assortment of weapons at them.

'The Hulk breathes so loud we could have shot him in the dark,' said one.

'That was not so courteous,' said Iron Man.

'Come on,' said one of the guards, 'follow me.'

The Fellowship reluctantly did, although they expected the worst. Agent Coulson especially looked uncomfortable.

'Does she do hypnosis?' he asked. 'I haven't been trained for that...'

'WHAT WAS THAT?' yelled Hill.

'What?' said Clint.

'Someone bumped into me.'

'That was me, idiot,' said Natasha.

'Here we are,' said the security guard. 'Miss Potts.'

'Aaaah!' screamed Tony.

'What is going on?' snapped Pepper. 'Why are you in my forest with your creepy rings and stuff? I don't want you here!'

Steve hid behind Banner (who, by the way, had finally de-Hulked).

'I wouldn't have come here if I could help it,' moaned Tony. 'Why does everything happen to meeeeee?'

'She's as bad as they say,' Loki commented.

'Well,' said Pepper, 'If you must be here you must. Just so long as you don't track mud in.'

'They tracked mud in,' said one of the security guards.

'Aaaah!' screamed Pepper.

'Let's get out of here,' said Tony. He had a feeling that angry!Pepper would not be a pretty sight.

'Run!' yelled Hill.

'Wait!' yelled Pepper. 'Who is THAT?'

'Who?' asked Clint. 'Oh, Loki? That's Loki. Brother of Thor. Who, by the way died… who volunteers to tell his dad?'

'Loki died?' asked Natasha.

'No, Thor, idiot,' said Clint.

'What is Loki doing with you?' Pepper moaned. 'He's dangerous! When you're on a quest to destroy the thing that would otherwise destroy the world, you don't take a freakin' bad guy with you!'

'Yeah you do,' said Loki. 'You totally do.'

'Yup,' said Tony. 'You have to have an extra to die tragically after reforming.'

'I'm not planning to reform,' Loki protested.

'We were leaving,' Coulson reminded them.

'Yes, go away,' agreed Pepper. 'Just remember that Loki is dangerous.'

'Like we didn't know that already?' said Hill.

'Let's go,' yelled Clint, running happily through the forest. 'We're off to kill the bad guy, the wonderful bad guy of- Mordor!'

'It doesn't fit in,' said Natasha.

'Hulk hungry,' said Banner, who couldn't take it anymore.

* * *

**I will eventually update. I promise. **

**...hopefully soon... **

**:)**


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